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The real me
The real me The real me written July 1st, 2021 I sit on a low bluff looking out at the ocean in Goa age 18 and away from home for the first time. I can see sitting beside me a version of me who is female - compassionate - loving my skirts and my bangles the anklets Shankar and Ana gave me soft and round and surprised I want to be intimate with a boy. This is the real me. I see sitting on the other side of me another version of me who is sure _they_ are the real me male - logical - unemotional calm under pressure. My life is planned out I will be an engineer like my uncle interested in ideas and not people. This is the real me. Some "I" sits on that low bluff and sees both of us for the first time and it is a wonder. There are no words for this yet but these both are the real me and in time we will find more of us. This is the real me. |
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The real me written July 1st, 2021 I sit on a low bluff looking out at the ocean in Goa age 18 and away from home for the first time. I can see sitting beside me a version of me who is female - compassionate - loving my skirts and my bangles the anklets Shankar and Ana gave me soft and round and surprised I want to be intimate with a boy. This is the real me. I see sitting on the other side of me another version of me who is sure _they_ are the real me male - logical - unemotional calm under pressure. My life is planned out I will be an engineer like my uncle interested in ideas and not people. This is the real me. Some "I" sits on that low bluff and sees both of us for the first time and it is a wonder. There are no words for this yet but these both are the real me and in time we will find more of us. This is the real me.
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I eventually learned this is called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), though my diagnosis now would be a slightly milder version of it. I write this to be visible, and so others know they are not alone.
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A very brave post. Most who have DID live in secret for fear of ridicule or revulsion. There are even so-called professionals who scoff at the diagnosis but the truth is that it exists. After seeing it firsthand, I can say that it's actually a gift and not a curse. I hope this piece finds the resonance it deserves with others. My name is MrWrong and I approved this comment
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When I read it, I did not associate it with any medical related issue, but more as none of us is single faced. We are far more complex than we can understand ourselves, and kept on the logical and low-emotional side tends to make live easier to deal with, though not necessarily happier. At the end, your emotions will arise, without any possiblity to control them, and you will realise you are your other too. . Ultima publicacion: (16/FEB ) Ser agua Puedes contactarme en MI BUZON o q:1642318, o fuera donde dice mi buzon
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you made me feel like i was there looking at you
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