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To Be Or Not To Be ..... and why and what Part 1 of 2
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To Be Or Not To Be ..... and why and what Part 1 of 2 And so, since my 1st posting here in my blog, I have sought to determine my "self" with a minimum of ambiguity. Well, until recently, I had, was comfortable with my role, my niche .... my life. Then stuff went south .... and my and I are now mongo miles away .... and off the edge of that earth. Yes, I think my and I are still relatively the same. But who/what was and is that? ..... this, so I understand as well as others .... so in touch with myself and then being able to communicate .... communication. Actually, being labeled/considered socially/sexually Andro/femme helps a lot. In a way it helps to qualify if not sorta endorse my "self" as a valid "type" .... to then assess and assign for a value; for instance, my exceeding some gender/sexual boundaries are actually within my natural realm ... at least I can understand and consider it special ... and of course others will evaluate for themselves if whatever is positive or negative ....none of us appeals to everyone. On the other hand, the more insightful and sincere about each of us is, the better opportunity there is to find pleasure and satisfaction. You know, that often spoken truth that we do not choose whatever about each of us ... I think our choice comes with self respect and to achieve happiness .... So I stirred my "self" up and watched what floated to the surface, Generally, feminine, but not really effeminate, nor masculine really either. I don't belong to that tribe at all. The perceived hypocrisy here is that well, I sorta act "" socially/publicly. My answer is that since 5th I have been told that one should behave in public and enjoy being themselves in private ... to negotiate in public but my personal life is private, my own as long as it harms no one else. In subscribing to this, I play the role publicly as I have had the most practice with it and it does not interfere with my personal life much all There are exceptions of course and one of them is advertising myself in a dating site. But that is the reason for it's being ... to let others know, in a sorta comfortable, gracious way, some of our personal aspects, who/what we are, what we offer and what we desire/need. Guess we are all on stage ... but then the assumption is that our collective audience is at least tolerant ... and those just passing through for "entertainment" must not know themselves if they're "entertained" .... but that's all. xox Kaycee fe |
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