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| Blogs > secret_lade > Ramblings of the depraved..... |
Death of a Stranger
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I'm so sorry to hear that the storms just keep coming. I lost my dad and stepmom about 11 years ago. I have been estranged from my mother since I was 18 and only laid eyes on her a handful of times in the last 30 years. While my sister is sorta in touch with her, she lives 8 hours away and I live across town. In recent years, I have expected a similar visit from law enforcement as she hasn't been in decent health for most of the time we've been estranged. I used to be angry that she couldn't be the parent I wanted/needed. And like you, I have tried to be everything she was unable to be for me to my children. I think over the years (and with plenty of therapy), I just am sad for what could have been had she been able to be mentally healthy. I know that when the day comes I have to say my final goodbye to her, there will be grief not really for the immediate loss, but for the loss of what could have been. HUGE GIANT (((HUGS)))
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Sorry for the loss and your added burden. Lost my dad when he was 31 and I was 9. Please just hang in there. Its just life, not that it makes you feel any better. Sorry.
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6/16/2021 4:45 am |
I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
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My sincere condolences... You and your family are in my prayers.
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Its an inch at a time....a step at a time...a breath at a time. They add up. Sending you some strength, accept all the assistance that is offered, you re going to need it! Unresolved thoughts will creep in to your psyche as you process it all. Take your time...
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Sorry to hear of your fathers passing  Never easy but memories remain and become more of your friend with time although the present is where we live the past can give us a happy heart ! I am all to familiar with what you are going thru and my heart goes out to you ... Take care and hug your kids lots xoxo
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So sorry for your loss... My Dad was killed in a car accident on the job 2 days before his scheduled retirement. Rural mail carrier. He could have retired years earlier but enjoyed the job. T-Boned on a rural road by a truck carrying hogs. A terrible phone call from my sister. I will never forget the time and day I got that call. 3 hour drive home and going through every stage of grief: denial. anger. bargaining. depression. acceptance. Thank God as a government employee killed on the job, my mother had all of his benefits and died 10 yrs later from cancer but was well taken care of. Miss them both
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i dont envy you your journey ahead..rocky road isnt just an ice cream flavor..i was lucky..my fathers passing came at the end of a long,painful cancer battle..good thing you have the spawn..
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Sorry to hear of your fathers passing Never easy but memories remain and become more of your friend with time although the present is where we live the past can give us a happy heart ! I am all to familiar with what you are going thru and my heart goes out to you ... Take care and hug your kids lots xoxo
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So sorry for your loss... My Dad was killed in a car accident on the job 2 days before his scheduled retirement. Rural mail carrier. He could have retired years earlier but enjoyed the job. T-Boned on a rural road by a truck carrying hogs. A terrible phone call from my sister. I will never forget the time and day I got that call. 3 hour drive home and going through every stage of grief: denial. anger. bargaining. depression. acceptance. Thank God as a government employee killed on the job, my mother had all of his benefits and died 10 yrs later from cancer but was well taken care of. Miss them both
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So sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers are going your way.
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i dont envy you your journey ahead..rocky road isnt just an ice cream flavor..i was lucky..my fathers passing came at the end of a long,painful cancer battle..good thing you have the spawn.. woop woop
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Condolences for the loss of your father.
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Wow. No words can describe... Yep. 🌹❗
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Sorry for your lose no matter what the relationship was with him he still your family. I to was at work where my dad worked many years and was a foreman. He retired only three year we where close. My boss knew my dad very well had to come get me to answer a phone call. (Before cell phones) my wife said dad past away massive heart attach. My boss drove me home but news flys fast for by the time I got dressed and walked out every one was standing at the doors praying for me and my family.my dad was truly a well liked man. His now gone 30 years. I was only 28 he was 65. Prays for him you may you both be at piece xoxo
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a parent lost is never easy even when estranged, condolences 
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So very sorry for your loss. Even though you say he was a stranger to you, it's still difficult to process that type of news. I never knew my father when I was growing up, but when I learned he had died, it was still a shock. You need hugs and chocolate at this point with everything that's been thrown at you. 
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Condolences for the loss of your father.
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Wow. No words can describe... Yep. 🌹❗ ... is there another way to look at it Going Too Fucking Far NEW Blog Features RevealeD O O A Foolproof Method Posted Over on that NEW site O O
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Sorry for your lose no matter what the relationship was with him he still your family. I to was at work where my dad worked many years and was a foreman. He retired only three year we where close. My boss knew my dad very well had to come get me to answer a phone call. (Before cell phones) my wife said dad past away massive heart attach. My boss drove me home but news flys fast for by the time I got dressed and walked out every one was standing at the doors praying for me and my family.my dad was truly a well liked man. His now gone 30 years. I was only 28 he was 65. Prays for him you may you both be at piece xoxo
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a parent lost is never easy even when estranged, condolences
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So very sorry for your loss. Even though you say he was a stranger to you, it's still difficult to process that type of news. I never knew my father when I was growing up, but when I learned he had died, it was still a shock. You need hugs and chocolate at this point with everything that's been thrown at you. Pagan  Hmmmm....I know I left that wand around here somewhere!
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My father was a stranger to me. To be honest, I don't know that I could have picked him out in a crowd... I was at work today onboarding two of my new people when one of the leaders tapped my shoulder and said to me "I'll take over, you have a visitor." "I do?" I looked at her like she was on crack. She didn't know shit about doing the onboarding stuff for the new people "Yes, you have an important visitor, I'll take over." Hesitantly, I started to head out the door to see who the mysterious visitor was when I found myself face to face with Boss #2, Nate the Great, and a sheriff's deputy. "Are you [secret_lade]?" "Yes, yes I am." Boss #2 and Nate were ready to step in, concern was all over their face. They didn't know what was going on either. "Is there a private place where we can talk?" "Yes, we can go to my office...." I had rounded the corner to my office and, as usual, there were people there waiting for me. Boss #2 and Nate were still by my side, I really think they were ready to step in as a form of protection. "She's not in trouble guys, this isn't anything like that. I told the same thing to her daughter when I stopped by her home." My home? Now my heart was pounding. This was bad news. "You can use leadership office...." Boss #2 unlocked the leadership office across the hall from my own and held the door open for me to enter, the officer falling directly behind me, closing the door before anyone else could enter. The purpose of his visit was to notify me that my father had died at some point within the last couple of days. The sheriff's department had received a phone call from concerned neighbors who had not seen him in a couple of days and were asking to have a wellness check done. The wellness check had confirmed that he had passed. Nothing really prepares you for a moment like this. Or for the moments after when you are trying to leave work with an officer who has just told you that your father has died and your coworkers are stopping you all along the way trying to joke around with you and asking you questions. One of them actually asked me if I needed bail money.... Little did they know I was headed off to the scene of a death to sign papers for my father to be released to a funeral home. On many occasions in the past I've done donation work with both the sheriff's department and the state police so it was not an unusual sight to see me walking around with an officer. It was not something that would draw their suspicions. So, it turns out that my father a heart attack. The crime scene investigator shared with me that there was no evidence he was being seen by any physicians and they did not find any medications in his apartment. He had uncontrolled hypertension that was not being helped by his heavy smoking and heavy drinking. He was an introvert and spent most of his time inside but made a trip every morning to buy his alcohol, which is what alerted the neighbors. He'd stopped making the trips. You know that saying... When it rains, it pours? Well, I feel it pouring all over me right now. It's a good think I've got that umbrella....
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