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100 ONLINE DATING TIPS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW
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100 ONLINE DATING TIPS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ONLINE DATING TIPS TO SURVIVE MENTALLY 1. You will not last without patience You can’t enter the world of online dating without accepting that this medium will often push your patience to the limit. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, you are going run into creepy men and have the occasional bad date or two. Never let this get to you. Focus on the end prize, which is landing a quality man. Everything else will be nothing more than a funny story to share with your friends one day. 2. You must learn to spot red flags The men that are manipulators and liars tend to reveal their true colors if you pay attention to the signs. Profiles and emails should be critiqued with a keen eye before ever accepting a date. If even one aspect of a man rubs you the wrong way, whether it be his pictures or writing, listen to your instinct and move on to the next guy. 3. You need to become the hunter The best way to find a quality man is to put yourself in the drivers seat. Instead of waiting for quality men to approach you, you need to take charge of your destiny, scout out the good men, and proceed to charm the pants off them. In this day and age, this is perfectly acceptable for a woman, and critical to finding a good man as fast as possible. 4. Request off site information before meeting In the online world its easy for a man to put his best foot forward and hide all the negative aspects of his personality. Always request the Facebook of a man to properly gage his personality, what his friends are like, and to see more of his pictures. At the minimum, if this is not something you are comfortable with, have him text you some pictures and chat with him on the phone to verify that he meets the image you have in your head. 5. Never get your expectations too high before a date Its good to be excited about a first date. If you aren’t, you are probably in danger of being a serial dater that is going on too many dates. But don’t get your expectations to the point where you think you may have found a boyfriend/future husband before you even meet. Its easy to feel like you found the perfect match on paper. But you never truly know if there is chemistry until you meet face to face. And when expectations are too high, it sets the heart up for nothing but utter disappointment. 6. Do not let the bad guys destroy your positive mindset Online dating can be very streaky. Occasionally you may have two, three, or even five bad dates in a row. It happens. But you cannot generalize all men online due to a few bad apples. Once your mindset turns negative, your dating life will become all but hopeless. Positive vibes attract positive attention. You must maintain positivity even during the down times. 7. Guys will frequently lie There will be many times where men who seemed to have had a great time don’t call you back. Others may lead you on and then go ghost. It sucks, but it happens. Once you learn to read men better (something I focus on teaching women a lot about), they will fool you less and less. But until you train yourself to spot the warning signs that a guy isn’t completely genuine, don’t take this personally and let it affect your self esteem. Often times, its not you, its him. Hang in there because there will be good ones around the corner. 8. Do not serial date yourself into online dating fatigue Going on five dates a week will not help you find “the one” any faster. It will only put you into mental and physical exhaustion. Nor will you ever get to truly know someone. Let life come to you, select your dates wisely, and treat each date with care. Sometimes less is more, especially in the online dating world. 9. You can’t put a time limit on life Telling yourself that you will be in a relationship in six months, or engaged in two years is dangerous. It sets oneself up for failure and adds a lot of pressure that shouldn’t be there. Life happens when it happens. Placing arbitrary numbers on when you hope to achieve your goals will only result in making poor decisions, acting in ways you shouldn’t, and possibly settling for someone less then ideal. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR CREATING A PHOTO GALLERY 10. You must understand how attraction works for men The first step towards attracting men online is understanding that men are much more visual than women. If you can’t attract men through your pictures, they will never read your emails or profile. 11. Highlight your best assets Any woman can appear attractive to a man. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and each woman is attractive in her own way. You don’t need to look like a model, but you do need to highlight the assets you are working with in ways the reveal your best self. 12. What you offer is what you will attract Don’t want men who are just after sex? Then don’t bend over in front of a webcam with your cleavage hanging out. The signals you send will have a direct correlation with the type of men that message you. If you want to be taken seriously for a relationship, then you must present yourself in a manner that conveys this. 13. Tell a visual story of your life The visual portion of your profile should tell a story that is just as great as the written portion of your profile. If you love hiking, spent a summer in South America, or get a thrill from skydiving, tell this story visually with the pictures you post. The more you tell a visual story about yourself that is fun and exciting, the more your photo gallery will be equipped to attract well-rounded men. 14. Throw up some conversation starters Unique pictures always make for great conversation starters. The easier you make it for a man to think of something to initiate a conversation with, the better off you will be. This is what I call, profile bait. The more you do this, the better. 15. You are only as good as your worst picture You may look fun, exciting, and attractive in six of your pictures, but if you look physically unattractive in that seventh picture, most men will move on to the next girl. Many men have their guard up online and fear misrepresentation. One bad picture can easily scare a good man away. 16. There is a fine line between sexy and slutty If a man can’t picture sleeping with you, he won’t be interested. At the same time, if your photos are too revealing, he will not see you in the light you hope to be seen. The goal is to look sexy and attractive, but never slutty, and never too revealing. Classy girls win the good guys. Woman on cmp 17. Smile! Men can’t resist a good friendly smile. Make sure you look happy in the pictures you post. Big bright smiles make for great main pictures. 18. Always post adventurous pictures A man’s biggest fear of monogamy is a lifetime of monotony and boredom. Ease this fear by showing that life with you will be an adventure. Great pictures for demonstrating this are travel pictures, unique events, skydiving, camping, etc. 19. Avoid images of isolation Taking multiple pictures by yourself in a room creates images of isolation, which brings the male mind to thoughts of desperation, loneliness, etc. Its subconscious, but it will happen. One picture alone is okay, or cropping yourself out of a picture that has multiple people is okay, but try to avoid more than one of these. 20. Post pictures with friends This indirectly communicates that people like you and enjoy being around you. Men are attracted to this. If you think your friends are uncomfortable with this, then just blur out their faces in a photo editor. 21. Show your pictures to various men The best way to gage how you look is to ask men. Except, most friends don’t want to be mean so they won’t necessarily give you the honest truth. There is a way around this though. Show each guy 10 pictures and ask him to pick five. This will give you an accurate reading on which pictures you should be using without forcing a man into an uncomfortable truth if he thinks you look bad in a few. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR SCANNING A MAN’S PHOTO GALLERY 22. Make sure he appears well-rounded A few photos that reveal nothing other than what the man looks like is not enough. Look for men with photo<b> galleries </font></b>that tell a visual story the same way you were instructed to tell one yourself in online dating tip number 13. The more you can visualize being a part of his visual story, the more likely you will be a match. 23. Never talk to a man with zero pictures I shouldn’t have to explain this one, but never do it. No matter what the excuse is, move on. 24. Also avoid men with three pictures or less In this day and age of smart phones, there is no excuse not to have at least three pictures posted. Men who only put a couple of pictures up probably have something to hide. 25. If he looks dramatically different in any picture, move on Men online tend to lie more than women. Many will put up pictures from many years ago, especially older men (this is only excusable if its a travel, adventure, or really unique picture). If he looks dramatically different in any aspect of his photo gallery, something is probably up. 26. A picture can tell a thousand words If you want to avoid a potential bad date, you need to have a keen eye for red flags. Carefully examine everything from the clothes he is wearing, to the background of his pictures, to the type of people that he is hanging out with, etc. A picture is worth a thousand words, and if something is off, a picture may just reveal it when looked upon close enough. 27. Steer clear of shirtless guy Let these men flex their biceps for other random strangers. No matter how infatuated you may be by his abs of steal, shirtless guy 99% of the time is a complete douche and not relationship material. 28. If you aren’t attracted to his pictures, don’t force it Sometimes its tempting to give the nice guy a chance, even if you aren’t attracted to him. But if you truly aren’t feeling it at all, don’t force it. Odds are you will only lead on the nice guy as you decide you never should have went out on the date to begin with. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR WRITING THE PERFECT PROFILE 29. Positive vibes attract positive energy Men love women that seem happy and excited about life. This should be felt by the reader throughout every word of your profile. 30. Never list what you don’t want in a man No matter what type of list you make of men that should not message you, they are still going to message you regardless. The men who are not worth your time just don’t care what you write, and probably aren’t reading your profile anyway. Stick to writing about what you do want in a man, not what you don’t want. Being negative won’t scare off the unwanted suitors, but it will scare off the good ones. 31. Men have short attention spans If you want to find true success, you need to learn how to create an online dating profile that hooks a man from the headline, all the way down to the very last word. If it doesn’t flow and engage throughout, it will mostly go unread. Or just hire one of our profile writing experts! 32. Make your profile conversational My staff and I always focus on making profiles feel as if they are talking to the reader. Throwing in playful questions and flirtatious comments throughout the profile help to accomplish this, and also help to make the profile much more engaging. 33. Demonstrate that you are unlike anybody else Don’t be a walking cliche. Online dating profiles are just one walking cliche after the next. Your job is to use the written word in ways that truly make your personality pop off the page. 34. Understand the effects of word choice Word choice is critical to how you are perceived. For example, phrases such as “I hope to meet someone” or “write me back if you are interested” paint the picture of a woman who is desperate and lonely. Changing these sentences to “the perfect guy for me would be…” or “looking forward to hearing from you…” imply confidence and control over your dating life. 35. Create imagery with your writing Don’t just mention that you went on a trip to Italy. Be specific about the time you explored the Ancient Ruins of Italy with nothing but a backpack and two weeks worth of clothes, or the trip to Hawaii where you shook hands with a kangaroo and spent the evening sharing stories over a campfire with the Natives. The more you paint a clear visual picture of what its like to be with you, the better. 36. Innocently flirt with the reader A common aspect of courtship is flirting. Just because you are online and not in the real world, doesn’t mean flirting won’t have the same effect. Men love this. Throwing a flirtatious comment or two will go a long way. Just make sure to keep it innocent. Nothing sexual! 37. Never make excuses as to why you are online dating Starting a profile with the words, “I never thought I’d do this” or “My friend talked me into this” is a huge turnoff to men. Times have changed and online dating is mainstream. So get over the notion that there is something wrong with meeting men online! 38. Add plenty of profile bait Profile bait is the act of writing statements that will give a man a reason to message you. The goal is to make it as easy as possible for a man to think of something to say. For example, if I wrote in my profile, “I love seeing live music (what’s on your playlist these days!),” I’m now encouraging a man to share what he listens to and ask me about my favorite live shows, thus, sparking an email based on commonalities. 39. Write in two to three sentence blocks. There is a psychology to reading. If this article was written as one massive paragraph, nobody walking this earth would stay on this page for more than five seconds. Breaking your profile into two to three sentence blocks will keep the reader focused and engaged. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR READING MALE PROFILES 40. Grammar is more than just grammar Grammar and spelling mistakes are more than just errors. They reveal a possible lack of education or laziness, both of which are not good qualities. One mistake happens. But if a man can’t put in a full effort for something as important as love, what else will he lack effort with down the road? 41. Short profiles are almost always a bad sign Aside from indications of laziness, an extremely short profile shows that the man is probably not taking online dating all that serious. Although this is far from a definite indicator, it does increase the odds that he is a man that is not necessarily out for a relationship, regardless of what he claims. 42. Men who make you laugh are usually winners on dates as well Making someone laugh in from a profile isn’t always easy. If he has you laughing at this point, you stand a great chance of having a laugh filled date as well. 43. A man’s profile should display confidence (but not arrogance) Men who are desperate tend to unintentionally reveal this through the way they write their profiles and the words they choose. Quality men usually have profiles that have an air of confidence about themselves. Avoid those that imply the opposite, as well as those that seem overly confident. This is usually a front for no confidence, or the sign of a womanizer that you should be avoiding. Woman sitting in front of computer 44. Avoid negative vibes. As mentioned in online dating tip number 29 and 30, stick to positive vibes. Men who harp on what they don’t want are usually men who are frustrated with the dating scene and haven’t had much success. 45. Look for men who stay active The last thing you want, even if you tend to be a homebody, is a man who does nothing but sit on the couch, drink beer, and play video games. Set yourself up for the best chance of success by scouting out men who have a wide range of hobbies and interests. As an added bonus, these types of men will be able to introduce you to new and exciting things. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR WRITING THE FIRST EMAIL 46. You should be reaching out to men first Contrary to the popular belief of some women, the best way to land a quality man online is to reach out first and write a great online dating email. First off, in this day and age there is nothing wrong with women initiating. Secondly, quality men receive tons of messages online. For this reason, they are less likely to reach out first. They are too busy responding to emails already coming their way. If you want to get their attention, its best to be proactive and do the hunting. (Click here for some free online dating email examples for women) 47. Never ignore the subject line Don’t blend into an inbox of no subject lines or lame variations of the word hello. A subject line should be used as a tool to ignite interest or curiosity. The perfect subject line will pop off the page and stand out from all the other boring emails. 48. Be playful and make him smile Humor and playful emails are key to attracting interest if he makes it past your pictures. A little non-sexual flirtation will go a long way towards making a man want to write back as well. 49. Always end your email with a question… Some women write emails but never actually ask a question! A good email should always have a “call to action.” Give the reader something specific to respond to. 50. …but avoid asking more than one question per email People are busy these days. Especially highly sought after men. Asking more than one question requires the reader to spend too much time writing back. The more your email begins to feel like a chore, the less likely a man will want to respond. 51. Avoid desperate language As stated in online dating tip number 34, certain words and phrases will unintentionally make you appear desperate and lonely. Always avoid ending your email with statements such as, “I hope to hear from you.” This does not show confidence and takes away the thrill of the chase. Keep your language selection confident and positive. “Gotta run but I’ll talk to you soon!” 52. Do not shower a man with compliments. Emails that shower a man with praise come across as desperate and off-putting. Keep the chase somewhat alive. One compliment is okay, but anything more than that is too much. And avoid compliments that are based on looks. 53. Write in two sentence blocks As stated in online dating tip number 36, there is a psychology to reading. Two to three sentence blocks is key to maintaining the attention span of a reader. In a first email, do not exceed six sentences total. 54. Avoid small talk Men get bored answering the same questions over and over. When writing emails, focus on commonalities, but keep the questions fun and unique. Instead of saying, “so where do you love to travel?” try saying, “I’m dying to go on another vacation. If you could take me anywhere, where would you take me! I’ll start packing now  …” Same general idea, but much more fun and playful.ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR WRITING FOLLOW UP EMAILS 55. Keep the length under control The deeper you get into your email exchanges, the more involved the conversation will naturally get. With that said, if it gets too long, a man will slowly start to lose his desire to respond. Try to steer clear of asking more than one question in each follow up email. And if he is the one making the emails longer and longer, try to do damage control and keep the length at bay. 56. Now is not the time to get lazy You may have his interest. But what you don’t see is ten other women knocking on his inbox trying to steal his attention away. Its your job to not only be just as interesting as the first email, but to make him progressively more attracted with each follow up email. This is more important in follow up emails then ever. 57. Keep the conversation fun Refer back to online dating tip number 54. Keep the interest high by continuing to avoid small talk. 58. Don’t be afraid to get aggressive If a man does not ask for your phone number after four or five email exchanges, don’t be afraid to leave your number. Its not desperate if you phrase it properly. “Anyway, you do seem like someone I wouldn’t mind getting to know better and I do get a little busy for these emails. How about you shoot me a text before we officially become pen pals on here …XXX-XXXX”59. Try to establish inside jokes Role play, have fun, and establish inside jokes. This psychologically will make him feel as if you two have a unique connection, and it will come in handy when it comes time to transition to the phone, as you could further play off these inside jokes when texting. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR KNOWING IF YOU SHOULD RESPOND TO AN EMAILS 60. Keep a keen eye out for red flags You are your number one asset for avoiding a date from hell. If any aspect of his email rubs you the wrong way in the slightest bit, go with your instinct, because its probably correct. 61. If he hints at anything sexual, eject Unless a sexual relationship is what you are looking for, sexual comments have no place in the emailing process. Even if its just one tiny little comment, its a major red flag. Eject. 62. Steer clear of men that are overly focused on your physical appearance Even if their is not an overtly sexual comment sent your way, avoid men who are too focused on complimenting your looks. The focus should be on your internal qualities, not external. After all, you are still strangers. Anything more than one compliment on your looks over the course of your email exchanges is too much and may reveal bad intentions. 63. Avoid men with bad grammar, spelling, or ones that type as if they are on Twitter Refer back to online dating tip number 37. Bad grammar represents so much more than just bad grammar. Let one mistake slide. Anything more than that is a bad sign. 64. Be aware of signs of desperation If a man comes on to you over the top strong, avoid him. He may seem nice. He may seem good looking. But men who are over-eager usually come with a whole slew of issues. 65. Never respond to a canned email. Be on the lookout for emails that can be pasted to any woman on the Internet. If its not somewhat personalized, this means he has probably sent the same email out to dozens of other women, just hoping someone responds. Don’t be another number in his number’s game. 66. Don’t respond to variations of “what’s up.” If they are this boring in their emails, they are probably just as boring on a first date. 67. Not every man is skilled at emailing Despite all my rules, if a man has a fantastic profile, tells a visual story in his photo gallery that is very impressive, but isn;t all that exciting in his email writing, you may want to give him a shot on the phone before writing him off. In most cases a bad emailer represents someone who is boring in real life as well, but not always. Go with your gut. 68. Thoroughly inspect his profile His email may impress you. But that’s not enough. If the trifecta of his photo gallery and written profile doesn’t pass inspection, do not respond. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR TEXTING PRIOR TO MEETING 69. Don’t be overaggressive Men instinctively enjoy the thrill of the chase when it comes to women. Texting a man relentlessly will not only make a man lose this thrill, but he will start to wonder if you are clingy and desperate. 70. Mirror his patterns The best way to gage how often you should be texting a man is to mirror his patterns. For example, if he is responding on average every ten to fifteen minutes, text at a similar pace. A great salesman always adapts to his behaviors. customprofilelearnmore 71. Every now and then, disappear for a long period of time. Don’t do this often, but if you have been texting on a fairly frequent basis, every now and then just disappear for a few hours. Its never good to stay too predictable. Keep men on their toes and make them feel what its like to miss you every now and then. 72. If the conversation starts going stale, don’t keep going The worst thing you can do is drag a texting thread out until a man thinks you are boring. Go out on a high note before his interest completely fades off. 73. Its okay to initiate with a man Suppose you have a date on Saturday, you texted all day on Tuesday, and its only Thursday. Its okay to reach out to him on Thursday. Maintaining communication sporadically until the date is important, as it keeps comfort levels high and helps to prevent the loss of a spark. If you wait five days between speaking odds are much higher that both parties will feel awkward on a first date. 74. When you do initiate, always have a “reason.” Never initiate with variations of the word hello or what’s up. This makes it seem as if you were just sitting around by your phone and thinking about him. Come up with “a reason” to message him. Maybe it was something funny you saw that day, or a video you thought he’d find funny. But always have a reason. This is also where establishing inside jokes from online dating tip number 56 comes in handy. 75. Continue your established inside jokes As stated in the online dating tip above, continuing inside jokes you have already established in the online world, and in prior text messages, will keep the conversation fun, playful, and engaging. Make this a habit. 76. Emoticons are your best friend Sending emoticons more aggressively then a sixteen year old probably isn’t the way to go. So don’t overdue it. But emoticons can be your best friend. They are great for innocent flirting (something men love), and extremely useful for making it clear when you are just joking around. 77. Don’t be shy with the Lol’s and Hahaha’s. Let’s be real, what man doesn’t love a woman who laughs at all his jokes! 78. Texting should not be used to get to know everything you want to know about a man Don’t overdue it with the personal questions via text. I know you may be curious and excited to learn more about the person, but save most of your questions for the actual date, or you will unintentionally deflate the excitement and experience of when you both meet. 79. Try to have him to text you a picture without being aggressive about it Not only can this be helpful for safety reasons, but you’d be surprised at how many times I saved myself from a last second date with a person I would not have been attracted to at all. ONLINE DATING TIPS ON MEETING UP FOR A FIRST DATE 80. Avoid business like greetings Handshakes are for business. This is a date. So start the tone on one of romance, not business. If you are not comfortable with a kiss on the cheek, then lean in for a small hug. 81. Do not commit to more than one hour No matter how much you believe you have chemistry with the man you are about to meet, one never truly knows if their is chemistry until a face to face meeting. Committing to more than an hour is very risky. 82. Have a pre-built excuse as to why you must leave in an hour The best way to approach a date is to tell your date beforehand that you can only stay for an hour (or less). This is insurance against a bad date and prevents you from being stuck in the uncomfortable situation of having to make an excuse to leave on the fly. And if you do hit it off, just tell your date your plans changed and stay longer. Its a win-win situation. 83. Try to schedule your date on a weeknight I know you may be tired after a long week of work, but weeknight dates make it easier to schedule a shorter meeting (work the next day is a fool proof reason). Its not exactly easy to pretend you have to leave at 9 o’clock on a Saturday if things aren’t going well. In addition, weeknight dates are much less pressure. Save Saturday nights for a second date. 84. Avoid high-risk dates / dates that require a time commitment High risk dates are anything from dinner, to sporting events, to live shows. These are high-risk dates because they are virtually unescapable. Agree to one and you are stuck with no escape route. 85. Your first impression is the most important impression. Men will decide in the first five seconds whether or not they are attracted to you and excited about the date. Always bring your A-Game and look your best. 86. Dress for the occasion. A sleek dress might make sense for a classy lounge, but it doesn’t exactly work for a walk in the park. Nor does a low cut shirt with your chest hanging out make sense for going on a hike. Your clothes are more then just clothes. They reveal who you are as a person, as well as your social aptitude. Be sure you dress to impress with the type of date you have in mind. 87. Show some femininity Even if you are coming straight from work, make sure you take the time to do your hair, put on some fresh makeup, and take the date seriously. Remember, men are much more visual than women when it comes to looks. A little sexiness while maintaining your class will go a long way. 88. This is not an interview Its good to ask questions. But don’t make a man feel as if he is on the hot seat being interviewed by Barbara Walters. The date should feel like a conversation, not an interrogation. Let the conversation flow rapidly and don’t relentlessly bombard a man with questions that make him feel as if he is on an interview for a job. 89. Smile The more you smile the more you will disarm a man and put him at ease to be his best self. Not to mention, a good smile is very sexy. 90. Slow down your speech Talking too fast is a sign of nervousness and insecurity. The goal is to appear confident and in control 91. Make eye contact As stated in the online dating tip above, confidence is key. Eye contact is yet another sign of confidence, so show off those beautiful eyes of yours. 92. During the date a man will sometimes switch gears Don’t assume that a guy is into you for more than one night if he acts interested. Often times men who know there is not relationship potential will switch gears and try to salvage a hookup from the situation. Be on the look out for men who get overly touchy on a first date or those who make one too many sexual comments. Most men interested in relationships will take it slow and are careful about not scaring the woman off. 93. Avoid controversial topics Politics, religion, etc., are topics that are too dangerous to bring up on a first date. Try to keep topics somewhat light on the first date. 94. If you are interested, let him know by flirting Smile with your eyes. Playfully touch him on the arm. Throw a compliment his way every once in a while. Tease him a bit. Send signals that you are in fact interested. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR ENDING A DATE 95. Its okay to end the date on a kiss… Some women have an arbitrary rule in their head that they shouldn’t kiss on a first date. If you’re not comfortable or don’t want to, then don’t. But don’t avoid it because you feel as if you shouldn’t. I assure you, we no longer live in an age where a man will think you are un-ladylike for kissing on a first date. 96. …but its also okay to end the date on a hug If your comfort levels aren’t quite there, a hug is more than sufficient. 97. If you had a good time, let him know The games that singles played in the past don’t apply to the modern age of dating. This is a fast paced world where men have unlimited options online. While you are playing too hard to get, he will be busy moving on to his next option online. ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR TEXTING AFTER A DATE 98. Say thank you If a date goes well, it should be followed with a thank you text. Especially if the man paid for you. This not only communicates that you are interested without appearing desperate, but it shows that you are generous and kind. “Thanks again for the drinks! It was really nice to meet you. Get home safely!  ”99. Keep it the text cool and confident Make sure you avoid using language that comes across as desperate. There is a huge difference between what was written in the online dating tip above, and writing “Thanks again for the drinks! I really hope to see you again sometime!” In this example, the text comes across as desperate and clingy. MY FINAL ONLINE DATING TIP 100. Revel in your success after following this guide Congratulations. You have followed my rules and are on the fast track to success. If you liked what you read, be sure to share these online dating tips for women with a friend of yours and enjoy the amazing benefits that online dating can bring into ones life. |
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