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My Observations of the Sexes
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My Observations of the Sexes Why does it seem that the only real people active on here are guys??? I mean, come on, ladies... we are looking for you... aren't you really looking for us, too? Or are just here for an ego boost, to see how many messages you get, how beautiful we think you are, (which, by the way, all ladies are beautiful. every single one of them). Even though my profile may say bi-curious, it doesn't mean that I only want to hookup with guys... after all, I'm not gay... just curious what it's like. once I satisfy that curiosity, I want to get back into a relationship with a girl. a real girl. not a "model", or a pro, or a tv pretending to be a girl (no offense, "girls"), a real girl. someone to share moments with, successes, failures, and everything in between. Spend time with, share with, to grow with, get comfortable with, achieve ecstasy and bliss with, and all that stuff. Isn't that what you girls want, also? That's what a lot of you have posted... Guess what, we want the same thing. I guess we are more driven to go find it, and willing to accept what comes along in the meantime. Right guys? Maybe it's just the women around Louisiana, or just around Baton Rouge, but I bet it's the same all over the country. It appears to me that unless a woman has an ulterior motive, they normally don't converse with single guys. is it out of fear? maybe... maybe some are afraid to state their true intentions, and to act on them when the opportunity arises, but maybe it's selfishness and ego on their part a little, too. Maybe they feel entitled to not respond to a guy because they have so many chasing them. Let's be realistic, though. It only takes two seconds to hit a quick reply to say "maybe later", or "sorry, not interested". Instead it seems that girls would rather just totally ignore a single guy who is truly searching for a friend, and not just a hookup. Maybe it's jadedness, having been trampled on so much around here, they just make the assumption that the hookup is ALL the guy wants... Let you in on a secret... listen closely, girls... lean right in there... Most guys will say it's just the hookup. Peer pressure makes them do that. Truth be known, most guys want the same thing you do. After all, we are all people, right? and people aren't stupid. (but crowds and mobs are!) Individuals are roughly the same, male or female. Granted, females are much harder to figure out the combination to the lock, but guys are just as jaded, just as burnt, just as fed up with it, as you girls are. We just hide it better. We (meaning men) are physical creatures. We try to solve our emotional issues and problems the same way we fix a sink drain, or a car engine, or a leaky roof. We try to get physical with it first. If that doesn't work, we are basically lost. That's one reason we need you girls. To help us figure out how to solve our issues when physical just doesn't work. You have it figured out, we don't. You have learned how to talk through it, to reason it out, sound it off others, get and take advice about it. Guys can't figure out how to do that... we need you to show us. of course, we will NEVER admit it. no way. We have too much pride for that. Need a roof fixed, check. Car acting up? check. Need to build something, weld something, unclog something, put a necklace around your neck, zip up your dress (No, you don't look fat!), take out the trash, mow the lawn, paint the house, even descale the showerhead nozzle. We got that. no problem. Give us a problem that involves something to do with our hands and we can check that off the list. But the shit that goes on in our head, and in our heart? We haven't got a clue. Raising our ? only if they screw up... THEN we know what to do! maybe that's a sexist point of view, but I believe it's true. Compassion and Empathy? not really our strong suits. after all, real men don't cry, right? (wrong!) I remember the first time I saw my two daughters on stage for the first time at their dance recitals. I wept the whole time, proud as a peacock... Now don't get me wrong, guys are not one dimensional creatures either. We have the same feelings and emotions, wants and desires girls do. We just don't show it. Society has taught us that this shows weakness, but I believe it is strength. It requires a secure, confident, mature person to admit mistakes and failures, and to take responsibility for those actions that put us all there. guy or girl, doesn't matter. That's what makes you an adult. Now that I've rambled on for awhile, if you are still reading this, I hope that you gathered some sense of compassion from it. Some closeness to others, and realized that guys are people, too. Just like girls. None of us are perfect. If we were, we would have no need for anyone else. Straight, Gay, Bi, Curious, Male, Female, cross dresser, transvestite, gender bender, none of that matters. What matters in life is the connections we have with others. The closeness, and intimate moments, both physical and emotional. That connection to someone, that we all crave. Every moment of our lives. Respect that, and maybe, just maybe, others will respect you and all your idiosyncrasies, quirks, your dorky dance moves, the funny way you laugh, the way you fart every time you cough, and everything else that goes into making you who you are.  |
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1 post 3/13/2014 9:17 am |
I appreciate the fast response. While I do truly understand your thinking on this, bear in mind that my intention in posting this rant was simply to express how I feel. While I have only been here on this site for a week or so, my online experience has spanned several sites, as have others I'm sure, and several months. Of course, that includes CL, too, so that was a bad experience. I do find it interesting that you assume I am blaming the female population for any lack of attention on my part. Not true. I have chatted with many different guys, straight gay and bi, who say the same thing. Also, I was speaking of only a certain part of the female population and not the whole. It is obvious to me that you don't fit in that category as you took the time to give a thought provoking and mature comment to my post. I have no idea whether being curious about my sexual is good or bad. Nor do I care. I just am. I did not mean settle for second best. I simply meant that experiencing life and sharing it with another person can expand your outlook. If you just excuse others as being "second best" without giving someone a chance to get to know you or for you to know them, how do you know that they truly are not the one for you? Isn't it then possible that by not even trying, the one you are looking for may have already past you by? You do have to make choices of course, but by dismissing someone because they don't fit into a mold or check every box on a list, you may be passing up on the whole experience of life and learning. I believe this is how we learn and mature. Life's mistakes are actually an opportunity to improve ourselves and grow. Not a failure. As far as women talking to single guys, I should have just said guys in general. I see your point, and agree with you on this one 100%. My failure to communicate properly has led to a misunderstanding on this one. Guys do bow to peer pressure. It is a shame. I see it all the time in every aspect of life. So do girls. It is human nature to want to belong. In a perfect world you are right. Having the backbone to ALWAYS stand up for your own self would be nice. Not a realistic outlook though. The world is a melting pot, and people want to be a part of the stew. Nothing wrong with that, either. Everything we do in life affects others around us. Every decision we make, every action we take. Taking others into account when we make a decision is a responsible thing to do for life on the planet. Allowing others to make our decisions for us is not. I agree. Thank you for your last point also. I agree with you there. Guys should know how to make a relationship work. But we learn it from you. By having a relationship in the first place and making the mistakes and learning from them. Lastly, I didn't say that females don't interact with me. I said it seems that most ladies here seem to ignore the fact that they place in their profile certain aspects of what they say the want, and the truth is they aren't really looking for that at all. My question is, why not be honest and state what your true intentions are instead of setting up a false profile. Guys do it too though, not just girls. A lot. Besides, if you reread that last quoted section, you will see that I am complimenting all ladies on having figured it out. I also wasn't saying that we need fixing constantly. Just a little help in growing emotionally sometimes, which women are much better at.
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