Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > rm_Tgirl51 > My Blog |
Life as a T-girl Part 14 a long one
|
Life as a T-girl Part 14 a long one Part 14 I have been told by a few commenter’s that they have enjoyed reading about my journey in being a Transgender. Some have mentioned that the sex maybe not so necessary. But, as I travel down the road, dressing and interacting with people, the sex, the oral, and the penetration, is a big part of my story. It is a part of my story I feel I must tell. I have mentioned several situations I have put myself in. Some have been a little rough. So far, fortunately, I have not been physically assaulted! Or at least where I needed medical treatment. Sure, there was the guy at the “Sheriff’s Office” Tavern that threatened me but So far the worst I have had happen to me is some ripped nylons and a few scrapes, nothing a Band-Aid won’t cover. But I have been close! One night, while walking just few blocks from my house, I was walking north on 32nd Nw from 65th st. I saw this guy hanging around, so I stood on the corner of 65th and waited for him to move on. After smoking a few cigarettes, I saw him get up and walk down 67th, So I walked north. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him leaning against a fence about fifteen feet away. When he saw me, he gave a wolf whistle and I ignored him. After crossing the street he yells; “Hey Baby! Ya Wanta Fuck?” I kept going. A second whistle, one more shrill came from him and I stopped and turned towards him. He yells again; “Hey Baby! Ya Wanta Fuck?” saying more, “I know you want my fat cock!” Grabbing himself. Why is it all me say they have a fat cock or a big cock and it really isn’t. Is it like when a man says he has a foot-long and it really is no longer than six inches? Don’t men know women no better! To be honest I did want to. And I may have been more willing if he would have just approached me and ask nicely. But No! Not this guy! He yells it at me. As I turn away to continue me walk, I accidently hook my skirt and this set him off. “Hey baby. What does that mean?” He asked as he walked quickly in my direction. And for the next hundred feet or so it was the only thing on his mind. Well, Not the only thing. I had turned down 68th st an found there was a canopy of several large leaf trees overhead that made the area darker. S if you were walking under a canopy that blocked the moonlight.. He forcefully grabbed my arm and spun me around so we were facing each other. His arms around me prevent me for moving on. Forcing his pelvis into me. He began to grind me. “So baby, what did that mean?” I didn’t answer. “it means you want it. Don’t you?” He thrust his lower body harder into mine. “I see you do,” and he forced a kiss. His hands released me only grab my breasts. “Ya baby you want it good, don’t you?” I was scared.. I wanted out of there but then I did not see a way out other than to scream, and that was not going to happen. Or at least, not yet, I strongly believe I can always find a way out. He was maneuvering me toward a stairwell nearby. Hi tongue never seeming to leave my mouth. He sat down on the stairs. My face forced into his crouch. “Oh, Baby you are going to like this!” He sat next to me pushing my skirt up. He had one hand on a breast, feeling me up, and his other hand starting at my knee and work its way up under my skirt. His eyes got bright as he touched my panties. He told me to unzip his pants and pull him out. Half scared, and half so wanting, I did what I was told. I got his cock out of his pants and held him. He said, “Kiss it baby. Kiss it with your tongue.” I did. “Now Suck it baby!” There is one thing I know how to do it is was how to suck cock. A few minutes later, I could feel him pulsing. His balls grew tight under my chin. I knew he was about to explode. Next thing I knew he pushed me off him. I fell down a few stairs and he was on top of me. Calling me a Fucking , Bitch, and other similar works. He stood up and dropped his pants. When I saw him unsnap them, I was able to get to my feet and I ran the best I could in heels. I ran until I got out from under the trees to a location that had houses with their lights still. I finally turned around to look for him and did not see him. So I calmed down and went back home. As I was getting undressed I notice big globs of semen on my blouse. Not one ever wishing to waste a man juices. . I licked I from my blouse so wishing he would have spurted it in my mouth. I really, REALLY hate wasting tasty cum! A few nights later that week, again I was walking north on 32nd. I wore my straight, long down to my waist Blond wig. I wore Blue eye shadow, almost in Drag Queen style, long jet black false eyelashes, and Ruby red lipstick. I wore a pink blouse under a black blazer, with a skirt that rose about three inches from the knee. Suntan nylon stocking held up with a sheer black garter belt. And of course, what every girl wears when she is feeling sexy . . . pair of three inch black pumps. With pointed toes! I Just walking and enjoy the number of cars that drove by. If they honked,? . . . I waved back with all my fingers. They give me a “Cat Call” or “Wolf Whistle”. . . I blew them a kiss knowing they were already past me and would not it even if it was broad daylight. Then I had this old Toyota Corona pull alongside me. They stopped, the passenger rolled his window down and ask a question. He was barely audible, so I walked over to the car and bent down to ask him to repeat. He asked if I wanted to party? It took all but 5 seconds to answer him. I knew he meant for me to be the party as I was about to answer it became clear to me what theses boys wanted. See if you can think of the same answer. They both had their cocks out of their pants with their hands stroking them hard. After I said, “No Thank You!” (A girl is always polite. Even in situations that do not call for it,) I tried to step back to the sidewalk but the passenger was too quick. He had his arms around me though the widow pulling mw, Trapping me against the car. The driver got out and grabbed me as the passenger opened his door. Another car was driving by and in order to go around. He had to swing into the other lane and on doing so he saw what was going on. I was let go and they drove off. As they left so did the other car but he did not try to follow, he just left. Wither he got out to see if I was alright, or continue on his way . I was satisfied either way. Confused! But satisfied. I spent the rest of my time while I still lived in the area for that car. I had a man make a pass at me while walking by this tavern on 33nd. Upon getting closer he holler out that I was a guy. Attempting to calm him and to get some unwanted help, I I asked him what make him think so? He slapped my breasts and said They were to high for a woman. Then he swung at me. Another time while still in Ballard I had several men push me and rough me up yelling “Queer!” “Faggot!” “Homo!” Laughing all the while and continuing as I was left there on the sidewalk putting my clothes that they had ripped of me back on. It was after that encounter I made a few decisions. One I vowed to myself to learn how to wear make-up! And even after all this time I think I almost have accomplished that. Learn to actually wear clothes that went more together. I am still learning. Woman fashion can change in a heat-beat! And be expensive too. Even at to Goodwil, or Ross, or Value Village. Either it is last year’s Style are still expensive! With so little material bras can be sixty to more for sheer, lacy bra’s? So far the only store that I can find a nice selection and still inexpensive is Volume Shoes. I spend $20.00 for a nice pair of pumps. But two for the price for one is much better. I also must learn to use a more feminine voice. Stand and walk like a woman keeping my shoulder back. Not stooped over. Stand, as a Lady. Keep the legs close walking, standing sitting. Sitting is the hard part. Keep my head up Look at others in the eyes . Smile. Always smile! And keeping it all in character! I am still not sure which has been my worse experience with either a Gay or Straight. I have had three really bad ones But only two both involved a weapon. With the straight encounter, (one,I was walking along Ballard Ave. in the early morning, after 3. As usual walking and smoking and wishing I could have some contact with a guy. I heard some foot steps behind me. When I walk, I try to walk with confidence and an understanding of what is going on around me. I have no idea where this guy came from but he was on me that fast! He expertly guided me into this little alcove I never knew was there and started to both feel me up and kiss me I struggled with him to at least get a look at him. But I knew this could be bad! He kept my eyes buried in his shoulder, and it was only after he raised my skirt forceing his legs between mine he realized there was something different with this woman. He stepped back and looked with both his eyes and hands between my legs. He blurted out, “You’re a Man!” I had not seen the knife up to this point. But know I saw it cutting off the button on my blouse. As He got to my bra. . . he cut in between the cups. He yanked off my blouse and then demanded I take off my skirt. He said to leave the panties on but to pull them down. Before I did he had the blade stroking my panties and asked if I wanted him to make me a woman surgically. I said. “No. Oh Please no!” I have no idea of what was flooding his mind but he gathered what was left of my clothes and scooped them up taking them with him as he left me standing there in only a cut bra, panties, Nylon stockings and heels. Up till this time I could not understand why more women do not call the police. But I now have an understanding of what it is like. There is embarrassment, Anger, Frustration. And so much more! Also for me, I was then and still now in the closet. So to say; there are people today that know I dress and the fewer the better. Even though I go out in public. . . I have my privacy and I have a separation between my two paths! I can only hope others will honor mine! My worst example of the bigotry and hatred I experience instituted by Gay’s I was on the hill, on Harvard. Minding my own business. And Avoiding groups of people walking by. Occasionally catching some positive comments from both men and woman as we past each other, and hearing a few very negative ones also. I saw this group of three men walking towards me. Just because we are on the Hill, it does not mean they are Gay or Straight. Or even if they are out looking for trouble/ It just means we are walking down the street. I crossed to the West side of the street. They followed. I crossed back to the East side the street. Again and again, I crossed, they crossed. I was attempting to get to Pike St. I knew there were people on the street near a food truck there and IF I could at least get in sight, I would have some protection. So foolish It was for me to think that I could do so. Unbeknownst to me there was now one on each side of the street, shadowing me. The third was behind me following each step. So I was caught between the three of them like a fly in a web. They surrounded me and forced me to walk with them up the hill. We walked until we were in a church parking lot. Into the parking lot, between this van and truck they pushed me. One held me from behind and covering my mouth. Another unbuttoned my blazer then my blouse. All the while the third one stood by watching the street for passer-bys and observe the process of stripping me. If someone walked by, two would begin to kiss each other. The third forced a kiss on me. To the causal observer we were just teo promiscuous couples getting it on. After getting an all clear, the one watching said to me, “so you want o be a woman, Huh?” I shook my head in agreement. “Well, we can help you do just that!” He pulled a knife out and began to lift my skirt. “There is one thing I hate the worse. And that is a man that likes to dress as a woman and still be a man!” He rubbed my panties slowly drawing the knife with the flat part of the blade. I was scared! Almost to the point of peeing in my panties, and I believe there are others that would have. “You want that?” I shook my head no. “I really hate having a Gay man pretend to be a woman!” I struggles in the clutches I was trapped in. “Carful now, You don’t want me to slip do you?” “Well do you?” I have tears in my eyes. I shook my head no. “Good. Now let’s see . . . hum. Where to start? I felt my legs get torn apart. I felt a hand reach between my legs. The cold steel in my privates. Then he cut my panties in the crotch ruining them. He then cut my skirt off and let it fall to the ground. The guy holding me said, “This could get messy. Maybe we should just take her home so we all can fuck him. Me first! I LOVE a tight ass!” In a way I felt relieved that there was going to be a chance for me to escape. The one unbuttoning me said. “No if we take him home there will be all this blood to clean up afterwards.” The first one: “True. But we could do it in the bathtub? But think of the fun we could have with this Bitch!” The second one:” Yes. But after we have a few days fun there will still be all that blood after we cut it off” The third guy kissed me and let the others do the same. Each stuffing their tongue down my throat. “No, I think this bitch understands we don’t want her kind around!” They forced me to my knees, each taking a turn gagging me with his cock. They passed me around until each gagged me and came in my throat. Now I was crying and they let me go. “Bitch this is a warning If we catch you out here again we will cut you!” And they left. I laid on the ground for a while then picked myself up. I re-buttoned my blouse. At least I had that. Wrapped my skirt around my waist and walked back to my car only to have the cops stop me to ask if I needed any help. It was obvious did but when I said No the cop was happy with my answer. That was the just the way it was back then. Seattle sensitivity was not a strong suit shown by the Seattle PD as a whole unless the Cop was also Gay. But that only lasted so long as you were one on one. Get other cops around and they showed no mercy towards you either. Over the years the old fashion Rule of Thumb: If you are Gay! They deserve whatever happens, happen. Being Transgender or a Lesbian was not an option. You were Gay or Straight. Homo or Hetro. Queer or Faggot! The other, nicer, well meaning names derogatory as they are, were still in transition. These two examples would make you wonder why I still dress and go out in public. I cannot give you a definitive answer other than to say: They have been, and are, few and far between. Times have changed where the Transgender community is being more accepted. Not understood necessarily. But it has been more accepting. I still find the lack of understanding to be still prevalent in both the Gay and the Staight community. I am thankful to have the opportunity to answer questions about the way I feel in my journey that there is still a very long way to go! I feel I could complete the Part or Chapter with my last paragraph. But I feel there is something gnawing away at me. This is something I have mentioned before and I will harp on to the end! I have mentioned Straight, Gay, and Lesbian, The one thing I have not really said much about is Orientation. Being Gay or even Lesbian means the same thing. We all know it! But we each HAVE to have our little labels so to say. It means” one is in a relationship of a member of the SAME sex. Bi means you can go either way with males and females. Transsexuals are usually people who believe they are in the wrong bodies and yet. A Male to Female Transitioned person can be a Lesbian only wishing to have sex with the same Gender as they where attracted to before transitioning. The same as for Female to Males! Or they could be more “Normal” and have sex with members of the opposite gender as if they had been born that way all along. Then we have the Bastards of the community: Transgender. A label that includes many, so the lines get very blurried and confusing. It includes; Transsexuals, Transvestites, and the same meaning label of Cross-Dressers, Drag Queens. There many others that over the years have become what we consider today as derogatory; Queer, Faggot, Gender-Bender’s Each used like blacks use the “N” word for the shock value or because the right word does not come to mind. And Like the African Americans must do. WE must stop using them or even when we do this the “N” word! This not the 1700’s When the colonist took the British drinking song of Yankee Doodle to piss them off. Now for me here is where I run into trouble. This is very near, and dear to me. I do not see myself as Gay or Bi. When I am in boy clothes, I have the mental and sexual needs as a man has with a woman. In one word as a “Straight” man. Then on the other hand. . When I am dressed as a woman. I SEE myself as a woman! With those very same needs , only I want them with men. As If I was a “Straight” woman. Dressed as a Man I would not, nor could not have sex with another man. As when Dressed as a Woman I cannot and would not have see with a woman! I have been told that it makes no deference I am Gay because I still have my male parts. Or I am Bi because I have sex with both sexes. I hate it when people tell me I am one or the other! It seems like only those that are traveling in the same shoes I am, DO I feel I am understood. The jest of this is do not force your ideas of what I am on me! Or others! As Popyee would says, “I am what I am” Life is short and I like who I am! |
Become a member to create a blog
