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Blogs > rdx37 > Rambles; Crazy posts.

Gross, don't read  

rdx37 38M
93 posts
10/29/2016 8:37 am
Gross, don't read

It's about a poop I took today. What an epic.

Not in the sense that it was towering, although it did get above the water. More in the sense of struggle. It is times like these when I wish I lived alone in the middle of nowhere so I could really harness my vocal energy and muscle group for a total body push.

I didn't eat breakfast today, I knew I had to skip a meal due to last night's food. Pizza. Six slices, jalapenos- mushrooms- black olives- extra cheese. DAMN that was good. I don't do breads so well anymore since I've really cut back on carbs, so when I go all out like this the next day is akin to hangover.

The feeling of bloated, gassy, unevenness. Gurgles, bubbles, squeals even as you shift your body. Squeals! From my intestines! So I had my coffee only, and did my morning reading while I could feel my peaceful timer counting down.

Then it strikes. Down the rest of the coffee, and off to the bathroom.

The first wave is easy- it always is when you hold off as long as you can. Bombs away. I brought my phone with me to occupy those interims while waiting for the next ordnance to be armed, flight time to target. Sometimes, you're fighting a war- and you don't need to occupy yourself on the way to the next target.

There is active resistance.

I think I was backed up through my whole large intestine into the small one a bit. Heavy breathing. Remember those La Mas classes and emergency birth courses. OH geez I've never taken any of them I've only ever watched TV and we all know that shit is all fake! WHO BREATHES?! Nobody I know.

So breathe, deep breathes- use the<b> diaphragm. </font></b>My head is literally spinning like I might throw up. Deep breaths. Spinning. Don't throw up don't throw up. Gather all muscle groups to push through the core. GOD DAMN. DON'T THROW UP. BREATHE DEEP. DIAPHRAGM.

OK so round two is over- head gains some respite. Feeling better- but I can't get up yet. That second one was the worst- part three was not half as bad. Then it was over, and I could come on here and be all sexy about it.

Haha!

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