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Blogs > wrMercury > Sanity of a madman

Should I define and defend myself?  

wrMercury 46M
924 posts
3/20/2013 1:41 pm
Should I define and defend myself?

An old joke from college was that I was a lesbian stuck in a man's body. I don't remember who said it originally, but as I had a number of<b> gay and lesbian </font></b>friends it was a running joke for a while. A friend recently reminded me of this old joke and I started to think about it.

I am bisexual. No denying that in here. But I am generally more interested in pussy than I am in cock. I do enjoy cock, and I do want to play with them on occasion, but I do really like women too.

Lately I am beginnign to admit that I like to cross dress as well. This is more of a sexual thing for me, more as a part of forplay than anything else. I don't see myself creating a female personality and going out as Mrs. Doubtfire. I know that some people do live that way, and I support them, but that isn't really my thing.

As I have seen other men wear lingere, I am finding hose are the guys that aren't interested in me. And I really began to think about this. When dressing up, I am trying to take on a more submissive female form. I don't know if that iw why others do it, or how they feel about it, but in my own way I am dressing up like that to look more feminine. While that turns on a lot of gay men, I don't know if other cross dressing men are looking for other guys that try to look more like women. If you are trying to attract a man by looking more feminine, then I wonder if you are looking for a man that is much more masculine.

Of course, I also fantasize a lot about being dressed up and having a woman strip me down. That comes back to the lesbian in a man's body joke. I wonder if on some level I want to play the role of a woman with another woman just for that experience. Conceptually it sounds like a total train wreck of a mind fuck, but at the same time it does sound interesting to me.

Of course part of the problem is trying to define myself and explain myself to others. Personally I am tired of having to define and defend myself. Why can't I just be me, crazy as that may potentially be.

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