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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
Give a Man an Inch
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Give a Man an Inch I've said it before and I'll say it again- men are weird, lol. Hubby called me yesterday as he was leaving the office and asked me if i needed him to pick anything up on his way home from work. I mentioned that I was short on veggies for dinner- he nicely offered to grab some asparagus and be home in a jiffy. Sounds idyllic, huh? Two hours later, he arrives with six bags of groceries, including stuff we already have (eggs and bread), stuff we have no business having (Oreos and Lucky Charms), and stuff no one in their right mind needs (pickled herring). My point? Never send a man to do a woman's job [ducking to avoid the femi-nazis who are no doubt reloading as I type this]. Today we head to Costco to pick up coffee, LaCroix and other items I am addicted to and therefore must purchase in bulk. We divide and conquer, agreeing to meet at the checkout line in 15 minutes with our respective items in tow. Half an hour later, we are the proud owners of an inner tube, six rolls of duct tape, enough batteries to light up Vegas and more meat than you see on the home page of this website. Wonder why he passed on the 50 gallon drum of ranch dressing- must not have been on sale. "Do we really need this stuff, Babe?" I ask. "Well yeah! The need an inner tube for the lake house. And if it springs a leak, that's why we have duct tape. The batteries are for the walkie-talkies. I know I bought some a few months ago, but I have no idea where they went..." "Nevermind the batteries. I'm sure they got put to good use (  ). What's with all the meat?""Super Bowl." Apparently we are hosting the Patriots offensive line? Who eats that much meat unless they are training to be Sumo wrestler? My arteries are clogging just thinking about it. Whatever. Time to leave... In the car, he mentions an article he read which stated that the number one 'marriage killer' was a nagging wife. Without thinking, I responded with logic and reason: "Well if you just did what I told you to, I wouldn't have to nag you." Silence. "If you bought a vibrator with a DC adaptor, we wouldn't run out of batteries." I'm not kidding, folks- we laughed so fucking hard that I peed myself a little. Times like this, I remember why I Love him  .When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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Bash us, nag us, berate our shopping skills, belitle our organization, but in the end... ya love us, ya really love us. 
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1/30/2012 6:07 am |
Love the post and could totally visualize it as your telling it. Funny as hell! And what do you have against pickled herring? Love pickled herring! LOL
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gottaring replies on 1/29/2012 6:04 pm: My kids fill up our cart with cherry tomatoes, strawberries, string cheese and Oreos. They could live on those items and be happy if I never fed them anything else. They're kind of weird that way Sounds like much the same my kids like. They have to throw in yogurt and cream cheese for there bagels tho. What DG said is right I need to get some WD40 just about out.  This is not meant to offend any one in any way.     
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1/29/2012 1:48 pm |
My problem comes at Lowe's or Home Depot. I own about every type of saw that is made. I haven't used a couple of them yet. I'm just waiting for the right situation... Cool you and hubby have that kind of relationship.
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Can one ever have enough meat. And if you don't make hot wings from scratch I recomend the Foster Farm Hot N Spicey Wings. I love love love costco where else can you get a 60inch flat screen tv a 20 pound pack of country pork ribs. And enough toilet paper to T.P. the White House all in one stop. Don't compromise yourself! You are all you've got!
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Good comeback Mr. Ring.  I don't like shopping much so when I go I get what I need and that is it. No six bags of groceries coming home with me.
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Well, since people are pitching in with vibrator recommendations.... I bought a magic wand and find it to be a little too strong, even at the low setting. But I love my Lelo vibrator, and it's rechargable. I like the fact that it doesn't require batteries OR an outlet nearby They're expensive but you'll recoup it eventually in battery savings.   
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1/29/2012 10:24 am |
Hmm I should take more trips to costco to get batteries for my toys. A couple weeks ago I was so close to just removing the batteries from my TV remote just so I could play with myself. Men are weird though, I remember taking family trips to costco.. and my dad would take us down every aisle.. getting stuff we didn't really need. But almost every aisle we would find something to put in the cart... especially when it came to the chocolate bar aisle. Swimmy & Puppy Big News Milestone Windows to the Soul Coitus Interruptus Finding Love Here Yes, it39s possible ~Diving into the Mind~
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1/29/2012 9:15 am |
That ain't Men. Thats YOUR husband  - Personally, I am a 'mission-oriented' shopper: i go in, go directly to aisle #, grab, and go!I always felt that Costco shoppers looked weird (at least the ones in Austin do). Not Walmart shopper 'off' - but different lol. "If you bought a vibrator with a DC adaptor, we wouldn't run out of batteries." <--- funny, yet tragic. lol oh, and PARTY AT GOTTA'S LAKE HOUSE!!! 
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Cute story! It's always nice to share a laugh.
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You're fine until he shows up at the checkout with duct tape, plastic tarp and a shovel. In bulk. This story is why I love you guys 
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The other day at the supermarket, I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "So, are you two an item." 
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I fear the day when they sell vibes with inverters to use in the car. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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1/29/2012 6:39 am |
Men are Uber shoppers, anything that looks "cool" or tickles a fancy goes in the cart. 
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LOL I hope those batteries are the rechargeable kind. It is the other way around when I go grocery shopping with the girls. They fill the cart up. I finally have to them we have to go now the cart is full. This is not meant to offend any one in any way.
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1/28/2012 10:08 pm |
Wooooooot! That sounds like an open invitation to go toy shopping! My Magic Wand plugs in... My battery operated toys are lonely since that sucker took up residence on my bedside table "I reject your version of reality & substitute my own" Offended Yet? Sign Here: [post 2929227] I mean seriously, DO IT!! Have you ever tried Sloggin' it? Blogger Slogger The best of some of the Canucks I love: [blog CanadaWeek]
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1/28/2012 8:16 pm |
Funny I guess he did have a good point there. 
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sounds like my typical trip there. how i love the costco. my daughter is addicted to their hotdogs right now too. way too funny and the laughter on the ride home is worth it all.
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Three words...Hitachi Magic Wand. LOVE MINE!!!  "For a woman there is nothing more erotic than being understood." ~ Molly Haskell Read about Me Being Naughty o-o
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 Maybe you should have looked for the bulk pack of depends? He does have a point though....I bet the DC adaptor would be cheaper. This is some funny shit here my friend.BehindMyBlues
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