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An endless sea of Asian ladies
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An endless sea of Asian ladies Last night my gal pal came over and after we "hung out" for a while she said she was tired and needed to get home before work . But then she also said she was horny . So after twenty minutes of waffling on if she wanted to leave or to get sexy (in which time we could have had sex easily [not to brag]) she said "Alright , lets have sex - but do we have to do all that foreplay stuff ?" Which is funny on several levels , not the least of which was I just responded to a blog the other day about if men need foreplay at all . I said that was fine (mostly meaning it) and then she followed up with this gem "do I have to take all my clothes off ?" Being the gentleman that I am I said she could leave on or take off whatever she wanted . Its not the first time in a relationship I've felt like maybe I was the lady role . I've always found sex without at least some foreplay to be kind of unsatisfying in the final analysis , but on the plus side now I can tease her about that forever . And that's priceless really . The other day at work I took a wrong turn and ended up in part of the complex I had never been in before . It was a vast field of cubes as far as the eye could see , nary a wall in sight , and strangely they were all cubes that were only like 3 and a half feet high , they looked more like pens than cubes really . And at every desk there was an Asian lady . Hundreds of them . I felt like they all turned and looked at me at once but really it was probably only a handful of them . I was confused and aroused (as usual) . What the heck is that about ? Is there a department that only hires Asian women ? That's not legal . And why don't they get full walls ? It was weird . I got the hell out of there and when I mentioned it to someone they said "Yeah , I went over there once , its weird ." That's it ? That's it ?! How can you just let something like that go ? A whole wing of Asian women ? That's like Cthulhu stuff there buddy . It was like this , only not at all  Seven to eight thousand times a day someone will ask a question and the qustionee will say "google it" which is okay advice I guess , but I realized the other day I didn't know anything about google . How owned it , what it was really all about , anything . Which is strange when you consider that in a lot of way it kind of controls our lives . If you want to know about something you google it , but who's to say that google isn't specifically to steer you towards certain information ? Google decides for you a lot of what you read and watch and what even is it ? So obviously I did the only thing I good , I googled google . It was like traveling to the center of the universe man . But not really . I didn't really find too much that was interesting really . New employees are called "Nooglers" and are given a propeller beanie cap to wear on their first Friday which is pretty retarded . I know I should use that word , but dude its fucking retarded . They have a campaign called "Legalize Love" promoting gay rights which is non-retarded . They get in trouble for not paying taxes a lot , but that's typical for a large corporation (the successful ones anyway) . But I didn't really find out much about how they do their shit if you catch my drift . For all I know there's a website out there that if you visit it the government will give you 7 million dollars and 3 supermodel<b> sex slaves </font></b>of your choice for a nickel but if google doesn't tell me about it how would I ever know ? Its just weird to think about the things that have a massive impact on your life that you never give a second though about . I wanted to find some of things people don't like about google but there was so much it was hard to separate the what from the chaff from the super insane chaff (which would be a good screen name) . One thing I know that is true that most people don't seem to realize if that goggle installs tracking cookies on your machine all the time so they can blast you with targeted ads . Which I bet most people don't care so much about but it is a dick move to secretly install anything to me . Consumer advocate group Privacy International says even if you only use a few of Google's free services "the company retains a large quantity of information about that user , often for an unstated or indefinite length of time , without clear limitation on subsequent use ." In 2009 Google's CEO Eric Schmidt warned users "If you have something that you don't want anyone to know , maybe you shouldn't be doing it in the first place" . Which is a slimeball comment if ever there was one . I don't want anyone to know anything about me so I guess I shouldn't do anything then ? Maybe it's time to stop treating google like a smarter , more trustworthy older sibling who has all the answers and more like a friend you trusted until you found the notebook where they track all of your bowel movements . No matter how much good advice they offer you and how many times they claim the drawer full of hair they collected from your shower drain is "just in case" you'll never feel totally comfortable around them again . When google stood up to China , people said it was because they'd had enough of that oppressive regime and their censorship policies . Google was a comparatively small company standing up to a nation of billlions . It was a clear cut David and Goliath battle of Good versus Evil . But not really . Google had cooperated with China's censorship policies for years . The thing that motivated the change in google's policy had nothing to do with Chinese censorship . It was to protect their greatest resource : The oceans of information they've been collecting for a decade and the software they use to get it and make sense of it . This makes a lot more sense when you realize what google realizes : they are currently as powerful as most nations on the planet . According to Google Watcher Scott Cleland "In monitoring google as closely as I do it has become increasingly clear that Google does not believe it has to obey the rules , standards , regulations and laws , that others routinely obey and respect . Google increasingly operates like a self-declared , virtual sovereign nation , largely unaccountable to the rules and mores of the rest of the world" . Which for the zero of you that play Shadowrun sounds very familiar . While google doesn't use all that information for evil yet it's a nice insurance policy to know that they could if they wanted to . Essentially , google is in the "get the world by the balls" phase of their business plan and they're just waiting to see if anyone's going to make them squeeze . Google isn't just keeping data on you and your friends . Over 60 percent of US state governments have "Gone Google" and now use one or more Google enterprise apps . Thousands of gigabytes of government data all held in Google's servers . As security expert Sherri Davidoff puts it "Google now controls our government's access to its own data". Google versus China is just the undercard . The really interesting battle will happen if the Justice Department decides to follow through on its plans to make Google this decade's Microsoft . That's when we get the main event : Google vs The US Government . It should be a pretty good fight as long as the Government can get used to being the underdog . Speaking of websites I don't know if its just in the Midwest but I see commercials sometimes for "Famers Only" which is a dating website for , you guessed it , farmers (only) . Which is kind of a weird concept when you think about it . Its not for people in rural areas , but specifically for farmers . Vocational based dating seems like a step too far if you ask me . Which you didn't . There seems to be entirely too many different dating sites overall . I really just think people should be thrown together randomly by the government and see what happens . Should be about as effective . I had a whole anti-marriage rant of some kind also but I pretty much forget and you all know my stand on that anyway so instead think of a song you like and pretend I talked about that . 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Jeez, I was semi-interested in the farmer from 125 miles away who contacted me on OK Cupid (free-range beef so he's all politically correct and everything) - but I think Kalia talked me out of it, yikes. There's a bit of interesting insight into Google in the book Mr. Penumbra's 24 Hour Bookstore - but then after reading the book I wondered if they paid the author to have themselves inserted into the plot    
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At this point in my life, someone who's far enough away that you see them only once a month is starting to seem appealing, haha  And yes, I would recommend the book, it just depends on what genres you like. Actually, it would be difficult to categorize - it's a little bit toward the scale of fantasy, but at the same time pretty firmly grounded in modern day San Francisco ...
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Super insane chaff is a good name unless it's a description used by your doctor.
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11/28/2013 10:44 am |
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I've always thought that about leaving or posting all of your stuff online. Someone somewhere could and would track it. Least that's what I'd tell some of my friends, then the younger ones, who do everything online (one of them posted something about his inability to put on his underwear cos he had hurt his back. Like really? Uh..thanks for sharing...??) call me an old fogey  Me, old fogey. Anyways, apparently, what you shouldn't do also is google yourself. Not sure why, but read it somewhere sometime ago that it's not recommended. Too late for that And with regards to the department full of asian ladies, maybe you just saw two, and then your brain automatically linked it (as part of your secret wish, maybe?) as a department full? Hmm..
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Back in WWII there were 46000 acres of hemp in Iowa. It's useless for smoking but good for tying people up. When my Sister-in-law visited Iowa for the first time {in 1974}, she was surprised to find out that there were more pigs than people here. Pigs are often bad tempered and mean, unfortunately they are also very smart. My brother-in-law raised pigs for part of one year. They developed a habit of killing chickens and generally getting into mischief. After about a two week battle of intellects my BIL won by sending the pigs to market. He might have even eaten a bacon and ham sandwich while watching them get loaded up. Since he was married to my sister I don't think he was looking for anyone to date of course I could be wrong. I have googled myself. It actually had a cell phone listing so I called myself too. Apparently I'm a realtor in California. Google says so, so it must be right. Government spying is really antiquated. The direct mail merchants 20 years ago could find out more than the NSA. If Cliff Stoll starts looking for you he might just find some stuff out. He's the astronomer that detected a group of German hackers about 1986 or so. They didn't pay 75 cents on their bill, and he tracked them down. So you saw a room full of Asian ladies and had to stroke. That's what I would've done too. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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